Showing posts with label Bad days. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bad days. Show all posts

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

SOULLESS

I woke up without my soul today.
Last night before I slept I left it dillydallying around the concepts of love, life and other prospects
I've wrecked my mind in search of it, checked everywhere in my heart down to the insides of my pockets
Strange, but I was thinking maybe it got caught looking for some change.
I've widened my search range to the street, begging complete strangers indiscreetly what I could give in exchange for theirs.
My soul-seeking desperation reeking of fears peaking into tears leaking down my face and smears what composure I've held through the years.
Who has it, what ditch does it lie in?
Where could it have gone, could I have kept it from fleeing?
My questions echo through the hollow residue of my being
Maybe I should pray so I’m down to the floor kneeling, praying wordlessly to a God I claim to believe in
.Maybe I should sleep now and see if it returns in the morning.

But what if my soul doesn't miss me?
What if it’s running wild through the fields like an untamed child screaming “I AM FREE, I AM FREE”
“Free of this tiring lunatic chasing after things she can’t have and still can’t figure out where she belongs
Free of embarking her childish fantasies that gets so damn frustrating as the journey prolongs
Free of excusing the misuse of her life, at this age she still can’t confidently walk in her own shoes
They’re always too tight or too loose
Sometimes I even give her the option of going barefoot but she still won’t choose.”
I imagine my soul lying in a hammock on a beach in Maui
Sunglasses on, sipping on margaritas glad to be rid of me.

I let my body sleep but my soul I never let rest
So today, my bones and flesh must do all the work and endure the stress
Today I woke up soulless.


Friday, 17 February 2012

SOME DAYS

Some days my voice gets weak from screaming in silence
I do not wish to speak.
My soul leaks fluid seeping through these eyes
Unarmed with tools to suture my wounds
Yet I seek to discover where the puncture lies.
My efforts are futile;
I curve my lips but still cannot break a smile.

Some days I get too lost within myself
I transform into a different being.
Disgruntled, Ungrateful victim of terror
If seeing be believing
I'm in denial for that cannot be my image in the mirror.
It sells me so short;
Some days I can barely reach anything.

Some days I shove away the hand that feeds
Loneliness welcomes hunger willingly.
There's a hug of which I'm in need
I reject it seemingly.
My body should be labelled 'Out of Order'
No one organ works in conjunction with the other.

Better days I've deemed ordinary
So some days have become necessary