SOME DAYS

Some days my voice gets weak from screaming in silence
I do not wish to speak.
My soul leaks fluid seeping through these eyes
Unarmed with tools to suture my wounds
Yet I seek to discover where the puncture lies.
My efforts are futile;
I curve my lips but still cannot break a smile.

Some days I get too lost within myself
I transform into a different being.
Disgruntled, Ungrateful victim of terror
If seeing be believing
I'm in denial for that cannot be my image in the mirror.
It sells me so short;
Some days I can barely reach anything.

Some days I shove away the hand that feeds
Loneliness welcomes hunger willingly.
There's a hug of which I'm in need
I reject it seemingly.
My body should be labelled 'Out of Order'
No one organ works in conjunction with the other.

Better days I've deemed ordinary
So some days have become necessary

I SEE YOU

I see you.

In the still of the night when silence of your absence grips me, the thought of you trips me and I begin to see you in the times past and that which lies ahead
I see you in the scheme of circumstances when dreams of you haunt me till i wake and loneliness seems to hold me hostage in my bed.

I draw myself further from you but in my reflection I still see you and assume you are near
Objects in mirrors aren't always closer than they appear because I reach out to touch you and all I feel is thin air and a tear
Falling upon my cheek where your hands once grazed, I'm amazed I feel you more and once again you are here.
I see you.

I shut my eyes tight so I wouldn't but the vision only gets clearer
I sense your presence in every sense so intense
I'm convinced you've been sent to create a system error.
Oblivious to the reality that I shouldn't, I see you, the flower girl and the ring bearer
The bridesmaids and grooms men stand in a file while father takes me down the aisle, my face imprinted with a smile seeing you in forever.

I refuse to believe you're not the muse musician's abuse because I see you in every song that I can't help but sing along to
Words, hues combined in a lines paint a different view of you so I know this to be true
Why then do you deny to be being used when my playlist suddenly resembles a slideshow of you?

I see you.

When I stare up the night's skies and stars twinkle down like a sight for sore eyes and in each ray of light, I too see you in sunrise
In every breath and in every thought
In truths, unknowns and in wherever the middle lies
I see you in everything that is within and without, in everything found and everything sought.

I see you.

Do you see me?

JAMESETTA

I caught myself daydreaming once again this morn
With a hand gently placed on my belly in anticipation of my unborn
I imagine her staring wide at me, my child
She possesses her father's dream filled eyes
And carries the joy that is her mother's smile.
I can't shake the tingle running down my spine
She has me wrapped around her little finger
When her little fingers momentarily wrap around mine.
Beautiful innocence made out of love
And love I devotedly give to her
More and more each day, like it could never be enough.
Jamesetta,
After my mother I'm thinking I should name her
She deserves a name synonymous to herself; Unique
Owned only by two from generations before me
She's number three.
The charm lodged in my arms
I'm consumed to keep her there and protect her from harm.
Let there be life and so she'll be
In time; the only gap that separates her from me
But my dreams builds a bridge that draws us together
In them I catch a glimpse of the light I'll call my daughter.
Fervently praying to be

her blessing
Her person and more than a mother should naturally be.
For her I must live true to life and learn what it has to teach
That I may reach her first a model woman
Before I dare ask her to practice what I preach.
I dread those days she strays and I'm pressed to scold her
When she gets lost in her ways and her phases won't let me hold her
I pray I'm not fazed by challenges I'm faced with in my quest to mould her
I trust to raise a true soldier.
Fruit of my womb
Extension of my being
Daddy's angel, mummy's pride
I daydream of the future, hands still on my stomach
Waiting in time for the life yet to grow inside.