I
never really liked myself when I was growing up
Always
felt like that drop of water left settled at the bottom of the cup
Unspoken
for and ignored to be thrown out against the pavement
A
mental enslavement to abandonment never endorsed.
My
face embossed with tears, droplets dropping without remorse
Forced
to merge with the forces of darkness with no true meaning of who I really was;
A
girl undiscovered.
Night
times caught me shivering without the cold but alone so I slept uncovered
Suffered
to the bone and taunted by the shadows that hovered
Haunted
by the ghosts of the unknown.
Most
days were a daze treading passages built like a maze preceding my own amazement
when I made it home
My
bathroom mirror revealing a girl who stood inferior to her own reflection
Unforgiving
to her errors oblivious to the greatness of her true person.
Confused
by the blues of a girl standing in a woman’s shoes unable to choose the tools
that separates her from the fools.
My
heart beat me till I bruised.
The
clock took stock of time with each tick tock interlocked with unwelcomed
thoughts held deeper inside
My
insides an intricate design of intestines and discomfort intertwined.
Those
were the days of yesteryears when matter stood master over my mind.
Spent
that portion of my youth in the pursuit of truth in all the wrong places I could
find.
And
then I wrote…
Morning
came and joy did not always follow but I wrote away the sorrows and swallowed
the reality pills held hostage in my throat
I stood
president over my affairs when it became apparent that it only entailed that I afford
myself the vote
Time
after time of jotting my quotes in little notes encouraged the self actualization
that I was more than I gave myself credit for
Ink
gave me a platform to think and when I would close my eyes in a blink words
instead of tears synced with my paper
Who
knew a pen could mend the break in time unend and send the negativity away to fend
for herself because I would no longer feed her
Not
a writer, nor a poet, more of a thought projector
I
write to bare my whole being just in order to protect her
If I
were able to label these words I’d name them my soul protector.
My
imagination bursts with color and relieves my thoughts of its solidarity to the
comfort zone
Finally
I’ve grown into my own and reaped some wisdom from what little seeds of words I
have sown.
Lovely
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